Thursday, March 22, 2012

Point Of Existence

The elephant had visited my room again today. And as always, in my absence. How do I know that he did? Well, though everything seemed to be normal on the surface, there was an undercurrent of restlessness in the room. Also, my nose could smell it. I have two noses inside my nose of which only I am aware. My noses are always able to detect the place from where he enters my room. This time, he chose the keyhole. Last time he used the bathroom ventilation to squeeze into my room. He has amazing flexibility and he always manages to squeeze his way into my room, no matter how small the entrance is. Now that I knew he was here I started looking for the chimera. He would always leave a chimera behind for me each time he paid me a visit. I call it chimera for want of a better word. It is not real but nor is it unreal. it is 'irrreal'. It lies in the shadowy realm between reality and illusion. Just hanging in there!

I started looking for it in my room. Below the pillow, under the bed, on the table, behind the curtains. No nowhere was it to be seen. Just then I saw a boat sailing in the ocean on top of my mosquito net. There was a brown cat sitting on it looking at the vacuum around. I climbed on my bed and got into the boat and off it went out of my room into the middle of a vast ocean. The brown cat was  not looking in my direction. I thought that it probably did not notice me getting into the boat. I mewed softly to catch its attention. In reply it just gave me a contemptuous look and continued staring at the dark blue ocean. I wondered why the elephant had placed such an angry cat in the boat with me. I could have been left alone than be with an insolent cat who thought of me as a little ant whom it could kill with one touch of the paw. The elephant and his motives could never be understood by me. Having being ignored by the cat, I started looking in the same direction to see if there was something interesting going on there. Dark blue sea was all that I could see. I strained my eyes hard; nothing but the same dark blue sea all around me. I kept looking at it for some time but then got terribly bored. I wondered how the cat could look at it for so long. I tried to look around the boat to see if there was something else that the elephant might have kept for my entertainment. Nothing!

After a while I tried speaking to the cat once more. I mewed again. This time a little more confidently. Who knows the arrogant cat might like the new confident me. It didn't look at me at all. I thought that was a positive sign as no look is better than a contemptuous look. I mewed even louder this time. The cat turned around slowly. My heart beats increased. Finally, the cat will come to me. Probably it will come sit on my lap and let me tickle it. Who knows it might even decide to play with me. So the cat finally looked at me and lifted its front leg. Ah! A handshake! What a well trained cat, I thought to myself. Just as I was about to reach out to it, it showed me its middle claw! I was so shocked that had I not caught hold of the mast on time, I could have fallen out of the boat. I didn't know how to react. I was so scared of the damn cat! I just sat there in the corner, giving the choicest of abuses to the haughty cat, obviously in my mind. I knew cats were not particularly friendly creatures but this one went out of its way to show its evilness. I was not geting bored anymore as I was busy thinking of innovative ways to throw the cat out of the boat.

I must have spent a good amount of time in this when I suddenly heard a baritone voice asking me to shut up. I almost jumped out of my little corner. I looked above if it was from the heavens. Nothing in the sky looked abnormal, no dazzling lights, nothing. I looked around when I saw the cat staring at me. Was it the cat? Cat who talked in a baritone voice! "Yes, it's me," the cat said. Words came to the tip of my tongue and then fell flat from there unable to take any shape. "Can you not stop this chatter! Your meaningless blabber is on ever since you climbed on to this boat. I have been trying hard to concentrate but just could not do that. Can you not appreciate the serene ocean? I knew about you from before therefore I had asked the elephant not to put you in my boat but he refused to listen to me. And here I am wasting a beautiful evening with a dimwit like you who cannot appreciate the ocean in the dark." I did not know how to respond to that. The cat could read my mind! I tried not to think anything but the human mind behaves in strange fashion. When it knows that its contents are accessible to someone, it starts thinking all prohibitted thoughts which it would never otherwise think. I was trying to control them. But when I would control one, another one would slip past the censor. Just then the cat shouted, " I cannot take this anymore! I have to leave this boat. To hell with you and the elephant!" I wondered where it would go in the middle of the ocean. Just then it started disappearing! Cheshire cat! The only difference was instead of the broad grin, I could only see frowning brows at the end. I gave a sigh of relief and thought good that the stuck up, idiotic, good-for-nothing cat has gone. "Mind your language, miss" said the cat from out of nowhere. Those were the last words I heard from the cat.

The boat kept moving deeper into the ocean. I stood there holding the mast thinking nothing. After indeterminate time had passed, I saw a glowing mountain standing right in the middle of the ocean. Just then, my boat changed its path and started moving towards the glowing mountain in an inward spiral fashion. I could see the mountain from all the sides and angles due the unique path followed by my boat which had a mind of its own. After completing the spiral, it sat atop the mountain. Time had no meaning anymore. My self too began to lose its meaning. The ocean around me never had much relevance anyway. There was nothing that could stop things from losing their meaning. All the coverings were falling off. Only a point remained in existence. Only that Point Of Existence had meaning but nobody understood its meaning. I tried to understand but somebody told me that I would have to spend timeless existence there to understand the real meaning.

Elephant knew my limitations. My boat flew back to my room and I got off it. I discovered that I had a small hole on the left side of my chest, the size of the Point Of Existence.

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